My Own Personal Ball+Chain

So I'm back doing some shifts at Rios. If there's one thing that I really, really didn't want to be doing with my life, it's doing some shifts at Rios. I've put in my time there, I spent nine years and six months there previously, from July 2006 to December 2015 and quite frankly, all my love for the place and whittled away over those years.

But right now I'm a bit strapped for cash and I'm unable to get a proper job, what with the impending trip to Scotland meaning that I'm leaving on the 19th. So I'm back doing some shifts at Rios. Part of it feels like I've never been away, everything just came flooding back as muscle memory. Some of the little details have changed, sure. But mostly...

I dunno. I don't really like being back, but what I don't like even more is that I don't seem to mind being back. That niggles at the back of my head.

We'll see, won't we. As far as I know I'm just doing stuff this month, but there's a chance that going forwards into next year I might do more.

Other stuff.

My exercise routine is going well, I've kicked it up a notch from going swimming four times a week and thinking about doing some more into going swimming four times a week and going power walking twice a week. Apparently the best time to do that is early in the morning, when it's bloody freezing outside and there's not as much traffic around.

Apparently.

Get it in my Veins (pt2)

So why am I so addicted to coke and its various spin-offs, iterations and imitations? I don't really know. When I've been off it for a while, I don't really miss it. Sometimes I play that I do, but to be honest, I'm perfectly fine to carry on without it, it's just that I know I'll keep drinking it if I don't try to regulate myself in some way. Hence my efforts to count millilitres and all that malarkey.

I'm well aware that I need to change what it is I do with my life, mainly in the diet area (the exercise area is actually going quite well, I'm trying to build it up slowly). This is going to be difficult, since I'm nearly 34 and I have a lifetime of bad habits to try and break myself of. If only I could find some way to take my coke addiction and re-apply to something more constructive, like fruit.

Me and my guys, we play New World of Darkness quite a lot, which has a system in which your character chooses a Virtue and a Vice, these are used to define what it is he does when up against the wall, his best and worst aspects, as it were. Often in the past, Kerry and I and others used to discuss what would be on our 'real life' character sheets, should such a thing exist. Which then leads folk to vastly overstate their own capabilities. But the Virtue and Vice thing was always something that we never fully discussed with each other, since it could be viewed as too personal. The Vices are the seven deadly sins.

Mine is Gluttony.

There's no doubt in my mind about that. I eat to excess, I often don't really realise that I'm doing it and I need to figure out a way to change that. Coke is simply an extension of that. I look at how much I want and then figure not to stop there. It's my body, after all, part of me says. Can do what I want.

Which is true.

But it's not going to help me keep my health as I get older. I always used to say that I was super-healthy because I never seemed to get ill. The odd cold. That was about it. I figured I had an awesome immune system. Well, that will fade with age and I need to know that I've made some effort to shore up the defences of my body against the ravages of time.

But it's just so tasty...

Get it in my Veins (pt1)

So it's back to Coke Addiction Land for me, since I'm just such a helpless snuffler. I looked back over my calculations for October and realised that I messed up when it came to my consumption for that month (I'm sure you're scandalised). I mixed up pints and cans of full fat. I was supposed to aim for 39 pints and 26 cans, and instead got 26 pints and 39 cans.

Now this actually works out better in terms of cutting down, since a can of coke is 330ml and a pint is 568ml. So let's do some maths, since that's a hobby of mine. So what we should have had in October was this:

568 x 39 pints: 22,152ml

and

330 x 26 cans:   8,580ml

which is

in total:       30,732ml

That's of course putting aside the ridiculous amounts of diet/zero/sugar free litres, the cans of the same, the litres of full fat in bottles... but I digress. What we actually had in October was this:

568 x 26 pints: 14,768ml

and

330 x 39 cans:  12,870ml

which is

in total:       27,638ml

Which gives us a saving of 3094ml (which is just a shade more than 9 cans of coke) from the total that I should have been aiming for. Go me, I guess? I'll work to this model going forwards, so the cans and pints will be reversed.

More thoughts in a bit.

Hernias and other Illnesses

So my Dad is in the process of trying to get a double Hernia resolved and has just had his pre-op appointment. He's got a month to wait before the actual keyhole surgery, so he's having to keep his feet up and not do much walking. He's not an athlete or anything but he's always been mobile enough, he plays golf regularly and walks his dog twice a day, so having to stay in one place for a long time is a tad unusual for him.

I guess that my parents are now at the age where I should worry more about their health. They're an active enough pair for folks in their sixties, the beagle keeps them walking plenty and they're genuine socialites, got a lot of friends. Should I be concerned for them? No more than I should be concerned for anyone else. Me and my Dad don't always see eye to eye, but I hope he comes through this alright, as I'm sure you understand.

Mortality has been on my mind lately, I was reminded of my friend Tom who passed away a few years ago. He had a miserable few years of it when he was living in the Reading and Newbury area, I think that things picked up for him when he moved to Swindon. He was troubled in the depression area, but he was a big heart and very imaginative. I miss his joviality.

Basil too. He was a good boy. I've loved all of our beagle hounds very much, but Basil (as my family will agree) was a beagle apart. He didn't really like people very much unless he'd known you a long time. I could write for pages and pages about Basil. Most people daydream about being with someone else from time to time. I daydream about sitting on the sofa next to Basil. He liked to lean against you if you were one of his folks. Just sit there and lean. Or lick you. He always thought that you weren't clean enough and needed to bathe you. I miss him too.

My thoughts for the now.

Two Cents

So it turns out that people I used to look up to are now molesting arseholes? It's been a pretty weird couple of weeks in the public sphere, to see so many big names laid low by their past indiscretions. Makes me wonder how and where I stand in all of this and how it affects me. More importantly, I wonder if I've ever affected it, as it were. I wonder if I've ever made a girl feel uncomfortable or pressured just by something I said, something I didn't really think about it.

I probably have. Back when I first started working at the Corn Exchange, I kinda considered myself to be the victim of sexual harassment, as a certain stage manager made it abundantly clear that she liked to toy with me. Now, many years later after many other circumstances, she and I ended up being together briefly (and that was ill-advised). So did it work? Did she pressure me into being with her? I guess, kind of. It didn't work out in any way that's positive for her, though.

So have I done it? Yes, I think so. When I was young and stupid, I did inappropriately touch a woman who was staying at the pub I worked at. She was much older than me and I'm not sure how she felt about it. She was being quite flirtatious earlier in the evening, so I don't think I was entirely out of my bounds but I do feel that perhaps I crossed a line. I won't say any more than that, really. It was a learning experience, now that I think about it, just not one that I realised at the time.

Complicated world that we live in. Makes you feel pretty bad about being male, sometimes.

Almost Had A Job...

So for the last five years my brother has been working at a Hotel, I probably shouldn't name it, so I will simply refer to it as The Hotel. He is leaving his job at The Hotel (which is long overdue, to be honest). His direct manager asked him if he knew anyone looking for work to replace him. My brother correctly said 'well, just Al, but he'll say no'. Which I mulled over. Given that it's a live in position, it's alright pay, it's long hours and there are a hundred thousand crappy stories that go with that job... well, I wasn't tempted until I heard the final part. I wouldn't have to wear a tie at this job.

Regular readers (all two of you) will know very well my stance on ties by now, but if you happen to not, let me summarise for you: Ties are bad. Al does not wear ties. Clear on this? Good, great. Hearing that I wouldn't have to wear a tie made me consider doing this job and so I let my brother know to arrange me an interview, which almost happened. Almost happened indeed. Alas, it did not and I am not particularly gutted about it. See, turns out that the General Manager stepped in and said 'What? A minion wishes not to wear a noose around it's own neck? There can be no changes to the uniform!!'.

Thusly, no interview.

Consequently, no job.

Reasonably sure that I would have done pretty well at the interview as well, given how desperate they seem to be up at The Hotel. But if they don't want to allow staff to be able to dress themselves as an adult, then they'll not get it. Never mind, I'm sure that something else will come along.

Uninteresting Downer

I'm kind of on a downward spiral, I think. I've got too much on the mind and not enough mind to deal with it all. I know that I should work on being better, but I can feel all those commitments I made a few months ago slipping away and I honestly don't know if I have the willpower to pin them down.

Thing is, all this pisses me off. I'm depressed. I have been for a very, very long time and it's just something that comes and goes, reminds you that it owns you, then goes back into hibernation again. There's nothing for it, there's no pills, no prescriptions, nothing that really helps it.

So I just live with it.

It annoys me when it's all I can think about, though. There are times when I'm swimming and I can't focus on how many lengths I've done. There are times when I'm writing and all I can think about is that my characters aren't as miserable as me. It's pathetic, it really is.

So I need to get over it.

Easier said than done, of course. I'll think of something. I'll come up with some way to reclaim my life.

Perhaps.

Tough

There are times I've got to remind myself that I don't have it particularly tough. The main examples being that I live in a first world country that has running water, electricity and healthcare (despite a shocking amount of isolationism) and that I'm relatively healthy, still have funds and have good friends. I own my own flat, I've got my family and I was raised in a home without abuse or difficulty.

That being said... I've been told time and time again that no matter the good fortune of one's situation, it's entirely possible not to be happy. I've been told that it's acceptable for one to be downcast, depressed and unhappy about what's going on in our heads. I'm still not convinced on that part. I've always felt that I'm not at liberty to be miserable due to the situation that I live in. It's a conflict for me, I guess.

It's silly, really

This last Thursday, I sat down on the edge of my bed to put my shoes on and the beam snapped. Under my apparently colossal weight. This sent me into a funk spiral that made me question what the fuck it was I was doing with myself that allowed this to happen. I was supposed to head out to Northcroft before all that. Fortunately, I could call my Mother, who managed to cheer me up/calm me down. I'm lucky in that regard too.

So at the moment I'm living in my living room (oddly apt) and sleeping on my sofa cushions arranged on the floor (the sofa itself is just a bit too short for me). The problem is that I know myself, I'm gonna let this drag for some time because it's just another form of laziness. That's what I've got to work on, I guess.

Something of a rambling entry, I know. I guess that I just need to refocus.

Rough

Sometimes it can be pretty rough being unemployed. It can be much easier to slip into bad habits. Almost two weeks ago I attended my brother's Graduation Ceremony for his Open University Maths Degree and I'm pleased to say that the ceremony itself went well and my brother was the subject of great pride. Afterwards... well, there are times that me and my Dad don't get on. This was one of those times. It comes down to ties.

Ties are a point of contention between my father and I. He spent more than thirty years in an office or in meetings or on planes and every day, he wore a tie to work. The only time I've ever worn a tie to work was for the Toby Carvery and that was such a shitty waste of time that I've actively sought out jobs where no such dress code is retired. To be fair, I work in retail and service and never really need something like that.

So we argued about this, he wanted to buy me a suit and tie for interviews, I rejected this idea, rather stubbornly, as I consider it to be pointless.

I don't really apply for the kind of jobs that require one to turn up in a suit and tie for interviews and quite frankly I find them very uncomfortable.

So we parted ways on unpleasant tones and I feel that it affected the good memories my brother will have about his ceremony. I don't really know who is to blame for this, whether his stubbornness is more than my stubbornness... or the other way around. I don't really know and I'm gutted that this has become an issue. Like I say, me and my Dad don't always see eye to eye. He gets on my nerves sometimes. But he's my Dad, y'know.

After we came back from Milton Keynes, I struggled to get any decent sleep for the next eleven or twelve days. My sleep has only just started to get back to a bit more normal, but for those intervening days I was struggling to get three or four hours a day, I just wasn't able to get my mind to switch off. I wasn't really able to focus on anything apart from being miserable. This happens from time to time, as I am depressed.

Without a job to take my mind off things, you have to stare at yourself in the mirror a bit more. Funny thing is, the night time doesn't bother me. I like the night, I like being awake then, it's quiet and peaceful. It's the morning that's worse. It's that harsh light around 9am that's kind of accusing and demanding to know where you are and why you're there. I try to avoid mornings for those reasons, sleep right through them.

After the first few days, I wasn't able to keep to my routines of writing, reading and swimming, I was just too tired but unable to really do anything else.

This most recent week I got hit by a particularly sucky ear-ache, which included some delightful pus (although very little). That seems to have cleared up.

So I'm sitting here on a Sunday, realising that last week all I wrote was a fruit preference. I figure that I should talk about how I felt over the last week or so because, well, that's what blogs are for, really. I need to get back to the job search, since I didn't really do any of that over the last week either, not that that should be much of a surprise.

Let's toil onwards.

The Mango of Mild Uninterest

I prefer Melon to Mango. It's official. I'll let the newspapers know.

The Melons of Delight

So after spending a full week trying to carve my way through the armoured leathery hides of delicious oranges, I have taken refuge in the soft, yielding delights of pre-packaged melon slices from Waitrose. In fact, checking my financial spreadsheet, I've been to Waitrose six times in the last seven days. I should probably go to other, cheaper supermarkets... but Waitrose is just round the corner...

I figure that as of the 1st of next month I'll be good to start talking about my ST-ing and Gaming techniques, which will help me have something specific to write and will allow me to share my vast and subjective knowledge. I'll need some time to sort out what I'm going to actually write. Also turns out that I really need some sleep, since I've been up since about 3pm yesterday and I kinda regretted that ever since.

I'll leave it there for now.

Have fun, happy campers.

+3 Orange Full Plate

So here we are, a new month that is so far being fuelled by diet Pepsi. New month, new blog entry and I'm back to that 'thinking about meaningful things to say' stage. Although I am trying to get more fruit in my diet. They say five a day, my doctor told me a while back that the best mix was four fruit and four vegetable every day... which will take a while to build up to, having that much stuff that I don't normally eat in my diet. So I'm committing this month to make sure I have one piece of fruit everyday from now on. We'll go from there.

And so to my first orange, which is sitting next to me. I tell you, the skin of the orange is there to protect it from scavenging predators. This particular orange? This one that I've spend the last four minutes trying to break into? This orange was so well defended against scavengers that it took me hacking into it with a kitchen knife to get past the skin. I mean... even then it kept fighting back, like it were some kind of fruit-based mini-boss to start off the new commitment. I may immortalise this orange in poetry form, for its sheer determination.

Nothing much else to talk about at the moment, but I'm thinking of including my notes on how I run role-play campaigns up on here soon. I was meant to run a seminar on this very subject a few weeks ago but unfortunately nobody could really attend on the day that it was arranged for (so sitting by mostly myself wasn't really worth the evening, but never mind). People do however wish to know my secrets and methods, so I guess I'll start putting them up here from now on. Perhaps. Maybe. If I'm up to it.

I'll have a think about it.

Reading at the moment? Starship Troopers.

 

Almost Time

It's almost time. It's almost allowed again, it's almost a feature of my life for the next thirty-one days. Something that I've given up and something that I yearn, deep down, to return too. Will I ever be free of the icy clutches of its addictive substances? Will I ever be able shake it free?

I, of course, refer to Coca-Cola. Or to be a bit more general, sugary and carbonated beverages. I think that over the last few years I've become one of those people who unironically enjoys Diet Coke for the taste. I mean... it's more chemical-y... but I kinda like that now, I guess?

So as of midnight on Saturday/Sunday, I shall be allowed to drink of the forbidden good stuff again and there's a part of me that's really, really, really looking forward to it. I mean... I know that's not the response I'm supposed to be aiming for, but I'm kinda early in this whole cleansing decompression spiral that I've started, so I guess I'm allowing myself to be excited about imbibing harmful substances again.

People have often reacted oddly when I tell them that I don't drink alcohol (on the vaguely related subject of imbibing harmful substances again). They often look at me like I just said that I enjoy molesting daschunds and then they ask me the same endlessly stupid question:

"Buy why not?"

A question so singularly moronic that I'm amazed people's brains aren't dribbling out of their ears when they ask it. It is true that alcohol consumption is widely regarded as a common leisure activity and social lubricant. That doesn't mean that everybody does it. There are whole religions out there that forbid their followers from drinking fermented plants. There's folk who have gone too far into alcoholism that now know that they can't ever drink again and that's for the best. Then there's people like me, who are just too sensible to drink. So in answer to that stupid question that I'll undoubtably get asked again...

"Because I don't want too."

My vice is clearly junk food, anyway.

Thoughts on Books (1)

So I figure that I'll talk about the books that I've been reading since I started my new regime. Because, y'know, I have a blog and all I seem to do with those is review things. So, I might as well do that some more, eh?

1) Azincourt

   by Bernard Cornwall

The retelling of Henry V and Mr. Cornwall's thoughts of the battle of Agincourt (as we arrogant English call it) is an excellent tale of medieval soldiery. Nick Hook, our main character, is an English archer who by means of draconian crime and personal code of honour ends up serving in the army of King Henry the V in order to invade France. During the siege of Harfleur it becomes apparent that Henry will not be able to conquer France, despite his claim to the throne. The battles are told in a very typically excellent and brutal Cornwall fashion, the narrative is a little simple but it benefits from truly great supporting characters that make the story. I highly recommend it, but then I highly recommend Cornwall in general, so there is that.

2) Pirate Latitudes

   by Michael Crichton

The first of two books to be published once Mr. Crichton had passed away, this one was apparently languishing in his laptop and had been an unfinished manuscript that he'd been working on since the 70's, apparently. You can tell that it wasn't quite finished, while it has all the beats of a rollicking good story with a great deal of frantic action (this book is a movie waiting to happen) but there's places where it feels like it needed to be rounded out a bit. It's a great and fairly quick read, but you might finish it thinking that it could have done with another draft from Mr. Crichton's fair hand. But alas, he was taken away from us far, far too soon.

3) Darkland

   by Liz Williams

So for some reason this book has been sitting on my shelf for quite some time and I've never really gotten around to it, but since I'm now reading a lot more I figure I'd put it on the list. Honestly... not sure I liked it. It's interesting and quite inventive for sci-fi that doesn't have a lot of detail behind how it works or how it came to be. There's just a bit too much rape for my comfort and does one of those things that I just don't like: going from first person perspective for one character and then third person perspective for another character. It's a bit unsettling and I'm not sure that it works for me. It's not a bad book, sure, but I don't think it was for me.

4) The Children of Men

   by P.D. James

Now the adaptation of this (within which James performed a cameo because she approved of the script a great deal) is one of my favourite films for its bleak dystopia, exploration of human cruelty when there's no reason for us not to be cruel anymore and sublime film-making techniques. The book, as I have discovered, is very different. Unlike the film, it's bleakness is very civilised and focusses much more on the nature of government and how it can manipulate us when hope is slowly, gradually snuffed out. It's a bit difficult at times with the sheer amount of introspection (Theo Faron in the novel is a world away from the character that Clive Owen plays) but it's worth it just to see how James envisioned the story originally. I recommend it, but it's not a happy read.

So that's what I've been getting up to as well as going to the gym about four times a week and gaming. I'll review some more when I've read them!

Out-Out

So after spending that time in London, I should probably relate that tale to the great, uncaring internet. So there I was, staggering out of bed a few hours later than I'd like, skipping down to the train station and being caught by someone taking a survey for Newbury College. Now I went to Newbury College in my youth, so I spared them a few minutes, then went on to catch my train. The train was already at the station when I got there and there was a queue at the ticket office, so I used the self-serve machine instead and accidently pressed the wrong button, buying a single instead of a return ticket. Foolish Al.

I get to London, grab the tube to Bank and then emerge into... vast emptiness. Bank is right in the centre of the city and that's where all the big financial companies. But on a Saturday afternoon they're all closed, so the entire city felt like it was utterly deserted. I eventually find Macina, Will and Nathan outside a closed restaurant (I mean, the restaurants and pubs were shut! On a Saturday afternoon!) and we got some of the establishing photos that Macina wanted. We then found somewhere that was open and waited for Sophie and Laura to arrive (naturally, they were fashionably late). We then divvied up jobs.

I'm a Gaffer now, whatever that means!

So then Laura (in her infinite wisdom) says that we're going 'Out-Out tonight. That's like going out but much more serious. Now, myself, Will, Nathan and Macina didn't really plan for this, I was under the impression that we'd go around a few locations, take some photos, have dinner together and I'd be back on a train by about half sixish. But no, this is not the plan of the Laura. Oh no, she has other plans indeed. She'd booked a hotel room for her and Sophie and so the rest of us made our arrangements. Nathan had only a day return so he had to head back that night, but I had only bought a single... so I could stay...

Which is why I found myself at 2am, in a nightclub beneath a construction site that was playing ear-ringingly loud music and was full of teenagers wearing formal wear and just enough extremely sexy Portuguese ladies. I do now wonder exactly how old I have to be to be 'too old for this shit'.

Now, even the clubs weren't all that busy and we didn't even see many tourists around Tower Hill. Do you know where all the people were? All the people were in Trafalgar Square McDonalds, that's where they were, hundreds of folk crammed into one 24-hour McDonalds, it was crazy.

After that, I got to experience my very first Night Bus, which included some random dude who'd been punched in the face asking which of us had chlamydia. We managed to get to where we were staying at about 4:30 in the morning. Macina's Dad was kind enough to put us up for a few hours, since we were up at 10 and setting off again. Fortunately we'd done all the photography the day before, so I said my goodbyes to everyone and managed to get back to Paddington (which involved sprinting up a flight of stairs in the underground) and back to Newbury. Tragically, on the train I realised that this was also a swim day.

So after trudging back to my flat, I dropped one bag and picked up another to go down to Northcroft. It should be noted that I didn't have the chance to shower after dancing for several hours, so I was not pleasant to be around. Nor had I brought a change of shirt with me (since I wasn't planning on staying overnight). I then completed my swim, wearily went back home and was in bed by 4:30 in the afternoon, a full 12 hours after I'd gotten to Macina's Dad's house. I felt it would be best to get an early night (or afternoon in that case) since I was shattered. But my neighbourhood had other plans for me, oh indeed.

So about half 6ish, I was woken by sounds of banging and I rushed to get some clothes on and through to the kitchen, where it turns out some chav twat was trying to break into the main building door downstairs. My flatmate had already shouted at him to stop doing it, which seemed to help.

There was about twenty people outside and many of them were intent on breaking in and either beating the crap out of (or worse) to my downstairs neighbour. Now, I find her difficult, but she doesn't deserve that, for certain. There were some scary people down there, but they left soon after.

Police arrived.

Both myself and Luke spoke to them and there was an official statement made about what happened. Turns out that while I was in London, the flat across the road had been raided by the police and these aggravating folks trying to break in through that my downstairs neighbour was responsible for 'grassing' on them. Turns out that she was just babysitting for them, so the police spoke to her to check that the kids were alright. So because of that, we almost had a break in and murder go on. Because these people are beyond stupid. After that, I was a bit too wired and nervous to go back to sleep. So I stayed up.

Until about 4:30.

Figures, really.

London Calling

Well I'm off to London tomorrow to begin prep for shooting a short film with my good friend, Anthony Macina. He's a very talented man who's far more dedicated to his craft than I am to mine and I'll do my best to help him out. I'm looking forward to meeting up with some of my uni friends.

In other news, I've upped how often I go swimming from three times a week to four times a week, because I need to fill my time somehow! I'm also considering upping how many lengths I do as of the 15th, but I'll see how I feel when that day rolls around. Incremental increases, that's the key.

I've been considering if I should talk about anything more important than the workings of my usual life with this blog. I mean... I started this as an exercise to help me feel better, let it slide for months and then returned to it to aid me in keeping up with my self-imposed obligations.

What would I talk about? Films and TV is a subject I've gone on and on about for a lot of my life, because that's just what I do. I talk enough gaming when I'm actually doing my gaming, it's not something that I ever really need to get on with talking about outside of the many gaming nights I have a week (I say many, it currently stands at 3.25 a week). So what else is there? Politics? I'm not an expert although I do have my views (which amount to 'Fuck Brexit' and 'Trump is a Douchbag').

I'll think of something.

Well, I slipped!

I was supposed to do this on the 1st, but here we are three days later and I'm all turned around. So, the thing I wanted to do was take a look at what I did on my previous month, specifically in relation to my addiction to that insidious, fizzy, sugary liquid that dominates my life. Coca-Cola.

So while last month I managed to go swimming three times a week, I managed to read at least a chapter of various books (depends on which I'm reading and how long those chapters are) and I managed to keep a pretty good financial record (I've overspent by £6.00 so far). So here's how much I drank.

Full-Fat: 16.25 litres in various bottle sizes

          26 cans

          33 pints

Diet/Zero/Max: 52 litres in 2 litre bottles

               35 cans

So the plan is then to reduce what I'm drinking. This month of September, I'm off the good stuff again and have had the caffeine headaches to weather it. So October I'm back on the good stuff and this time I'll actually be increasing the amounts (I know, I know...) so that everything is divisible by 13. The 16.25 litres and the 26 cans of full fat and the 52 litres of diet stuff is already divisible by three, it just needs six more pints of full fat and four more cans of diet and then it's all neatly divisible by 13. The reason for the 13 is then that there are 13 months remaining that I drink of the Coca-Cola.

These months are: October 2017   (1 month break)

                  December 2017  (2 months break)

                  March 2018     (2 months break)

                  June 2018      (2 months break)

                  September 2018 (2 months break)

                  December 2018  (3 months break)

                  April 2019     (3 months break)

                  August 2019    (3 months break)

                  December 2019  (4 months break)

                  May 2020       (4 months break)

                  October 2020   (6 months break)

                  May 2021       (6 months break)

                  December 2021  (And then no more...)

That's the plan, anyway. We'll see how it goes. Each of those months will have a thirteenth less from the amount I'll build up to in October 2017. At least... that's the plan.

Also at the moment I'm reading Darkland by Liz Williams.

Heat

I hate hot weather, I viscerally loathe it. What with all the cancelling and pushing and pulling of plans that's gone on in the last few hours and the sweltering temperature, this tiny blog post is about all I have in me.

That being said, I did finish Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton and it was a great romp that felt like it needed a few extra layers of polish, but then it was taken from his laptop unfinished after he'd died, so I guess that'd be why.

Here's hoping for cold.

Tough One

A few things to talk about in this one. I am all up to date with my swimming and reading and writing (although the writing was a bit touch and go last week). I'm onto Pirate Latitudes by Michael Crichton, which is turning out to be great, very movie-material. However, in regards to doing one chapter a day, most of these chapters are only a few pages long, so I upped it to three a day. I'm sure that you're offended.

I'm also facing a quandary with a friend of mine (who shall remain nameless for the moment, but if you know me then you probably know her too). She's started drinking again. She shouldn't be drinking, it almost killed her in the past. In the early hours of Saturday morning me and my flatmate had a bit of an intervention for her. She admitted everything, wasn't angry at us and said that she was already seeking treatment.

Now, I don't know if that last part is actually true, but on talking more with her, it seems like the drinking is really the least of her problems. She's got a lot of money issues including some very nasty people who aren't good with debts. In typical 'Her' fashion, however, she almost categorically refuses any help offered with these issues. I will do my best to help her, including offering her a place to stay if she gets kicked out of her flat... but it's up to her to take the helping hand.

She's also trying to buy out the business that she works at and I happen to know that the owner of that business is a slippery wanker who has dangled the keys in front of many an employee only to have them burn out to his benefit. She's onto a loser by continuing to throw everything she has at that hope.


So yeah... it's been a tough week, all things considered. I really need to find one of those jobs to take my mind off things. But I may need to devote time to this recovery/life rescue... if she'll accept my help, that is.

Checking out for now, Al.

My back... It pains me

So the other day I bent down to pick up some books and decided that no, no this was not for me. I spent the next three days laying around and feeling sorry for myself. I did manage to go swimming enough times this week, even though it looked for a minute like I wasn't going to make it. This Wednesday gone I was about to go but I'd mostly overslept and felt rubbish. I figured that I'd go on the next day.

Next day comes around and then I hurt my back. I decided again not to go, which meant that I was putting it off until Friday. Now that means that my normal Monday-Wednesday-Friday was going to turn into Monday-Friday-Sunday. I did manage on Friday, since the swimming itself didn't make my back any worse, in fact it seemed to help. It was just the getting there and tying my shoelaces that sucked. Very much sucked.

Of course that means that me going swimming on Sunday was a bit of a knife-edge. Would I make it? Would I struggle out of bed and go down and do it?

Yes, turns out. I did indeed manage to fulfil my swimming quota for the week, just not on the intended days. So this week my swims are Tuesday-Thursday-Saturday. Back to normal next week. Not that this routine is particularly normal yet, I've only been at it for just over two weeks now, as with all the financial, reading and writing stuff. That's also going okay. First week I overspend by £11, the second week I underspent by £37.50.

So that works.

I also finished reading Azincourt by Bernard Cornwall yesterday, which is a stonkingly good book. Excellently realised characters that I genuinely wish I could have met. The description of the battles is both horrific and exulting, the way that Cornwall does. He's a master at this sort of thing and to have one of our most famous victories celebrated in such a fashion was brilliant. I highly recommend it.

Not sure what I'm reading next, I'll let you know. Both my writing projects are doing well, even considering that one is out of my normal comfort zone.

Right...

See you next week.

I Did A Whole Week

Well, so far I've managed to stick to everything that I set out to do last week. That's by no means an indication that I'm in it for the long haul, but baby steps. I've done a week. Been swimming four times, only overspent by £11 (I'll try to be better on that front), read my book, wrote my stuff and have made an increasing number of marks in my notebook to indicate how many gallons of Pepsi Max Cherry I have consumed.

It's quite a few.

The last thing on my list was of course to post on my blog on certain days and this is one of them so... here we are. I'm pretty sure that absolutely nobody reads this thing, but that's not really the point, it's more about charting how well I'm doing as a human. I suppose I'll have to find some chart to indicate what that actually means at some point, but in the meantime I've got things under control. I hope.

So, just a short one there but I'm hoping that the more I remember to this then the more I'm willing to do as time goes by. We shall see, won't we.

Am still reading Azincourt

by Bernard Cornwall. Is good.

The Last Five Months

So there are five months left in the great year 2017 (it's not been that great) and I figured that I'd try... once again... to force myself to having more structure to my life. This is especially important now that I'm unemployed again, as it means that I'm at a loose end most of the time and should try to fill that time productively. I set myself a number of goals to try to stick too for the foreseeable. These are:

- Blog more, specifically on the 1st, the 8th, the 15th, the 22nd and 29th of every month (so that they're basically one week apart). I have tried this in the past but never really stuck to it, so let's try again.

- Swimming. Three times a week. Start with 30 lengths in August and then move up by six for each month afterwards. As time goes on move some of those from Breast Stroke to Front Crawl as it is more exercise-efficient.

- Read more. There's a story I tell my friends about how, when I studied Screenwriting, I got used to all stories being two hours long and that's it, so I found returning to books hard. I shall endeavour to read a chapter a day in order to be literate again, as I miss books.

- Return to writing. When I stopped having a laptop those eight months ago, I stopped writing regularly. This happens from time to time, but it's always a mistake. I need to write to stay sane. So I'm taking on two projects and seeing how I do with them. One is Networlds, the other... I'll talk about some more some other time. We'll see.

- New Financial Spreadsheet. What with having a job and my own flat I let it slide how much I was spending from week to week over the last two years. Now that I'm unemployed again my funds need to last until the end of the year (if not longer), so I'm rationing myself to £61 a week until I know that I'm secure in income again. If I'm secure in income again.

- Tackle my Coke addiction. I gave up Coca-Cola and all fizzy related drinks for the month of July, but now I am back on them (since I'm trying to do a lot to alter my life, I figure I might need the crutch). I will, however, record everything that I drink in August and we'll see how much it is, so that I can start paring it down in subsequent months.

Yeah... So...

I'm not sure how well I'll do at all this. This certainly isn't the first time that I've tried to do something like this, it's not the last time I'll try either. I know more than I did before, I know that there is support if I need it, which I probably will. I'll check in next week, see how I'm going.

Oh, and the first book I'm going

for is Azincourt by Bernard Cornwall.

Al.

Well That'll Learn Me

So I've been without a laptop for the past... oooh... eight months? I suppose that I could've found a way to update this blog in the mean time, but I honestly couldn't be bothered. I was fairly sure that I was just gonna let this one bleed out, unnoticed, in an airtight shipping container on its way to Singapore, but here we are. Back on the Crackle.

I'll do my best to resurrect it, see if I can find stuff I want to talk about. Oooh, I just quit my job. I told them it's because I found another job but to be honest it's because my holiday hours got screwed around and there's too much pissing about going on between two senior figures there. Kind of had enough of all that and I want to go to Scotland.

So here I am... about to be unemployed again. Kinda feels full circle, doesn't it.

I'm sure I'll find something to do, my funds definitely aren't what they used to be, so I'll not be taking another eight month break to twiddle out scripts that nobody'll read and play video games. Although that does sound mighty tempting. I suppose I just need to get on with it and get something written that I could actually sell. And then find someone to sell it to.

That's the really tough part.

Checking out for now, Al.